I think I can…Day One

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Day: 1
Days to go until first deadline: 151

Well…it is Monday, January 2, 2012 and the dreaded resolutions have begun and like so many people out there I’ve resolved to lose the weight I’ve gained with my last two preganancies and get active. I’m also a would be writer (as in…I would be a published author if I finished my book and sent it to a visionary publisher who recognized my romantic brilliance and published me) and since I’m a the self professed queen of procrastination and self sabotage I’m trying to make myself accountable for my lack of success in the resolutions of the past, hence this blog.

Why a blog? You ask. Well, I guess I figured if I could have a place to whisper my failures and exclaim my successes it would help push me along this uphill battle.

Of course, as all the articles I’ve read lately tell me, I must first spell out my resolutions so they are clear and attainable. So here it goes…

1. Lose 35 lbs. by my 33rd birthday (June 2nd) and 95 lbs. in a year.

2. Get more active by doing Zumba 3 times a week or an hour of cardio with 30 minutes weight training 3 times a week.

3. Finish my book by my birthday (June 2nd) and have an edited/revised version ready to be sent to the publishers by September 2nd.

Now, apparently, some articles believe I should pick small resolutions, which make it easier to accomplish, so I don’t give up but small resolutions aren’t my problem…the big ones are.

And the biggest one I face is my weight…literally!

I feel, for a lack of a better word, like crap. I’m overweight to the point where if I bend over or reach for something the fat rolls actually get in the way. I constantly have to wear a version of spanx whether they go on my butt and thighs or over my gut, a gut that seems to get bigger just by looking at unhealthy food.

I would love to say that the reason I’m overweight is because I have some medical condition/problem or that I’m on some medication that makes me unable to lose weight but I don’t and I’m not. My problem is that I just don’t know how to put down the ice cream or just say no to the french fries. I love to eat. It makes me feel better, which is called emotional eating. Of course, just because I know what it’s called doesn’t mean I can magically stop. Life sometimes sucks and you need to feel good so I eat sinful treats and drink wine, which inevitably leads to a bigger waistline! Ugh, I hate it and then myself, which only makes me eat more…yuck! Some cycles are disgusting and I’m determined to break them. I think I can, I can, I will.

I also want to be more active and have more energy and, as we all know, the only way to do that is to get our a$$e$ of the couch and do it. The problem is my couch is really comfortable. So, my hubby, Scott, and I joined a gym that has FREE childcare, which is great because the “I don’t have anyone to watch my kids so I can’t workout” excuse, that has been my mantra, is off the table and I hope that the money we are shelling out and the hour or two of being child free will help make the couch less comfortable….I think I can, I can, I will.

As for my writing, well, I’m FINALLY writing the story of Samantha (Sam) and Gavin, a couple I dreamt up at 18.

I’ve tried writing their story several times but it was never right, until now. The story is coming along and as of last night I have 93 pages done. My friend Petra has read it and is convinced that it is the one that will get me published. Being published would be okay but I’m more thrilled to be creating their story. To bring them to life and give them thoughts and actions and…who am I kidding…I want to be published…badly! What is the point of having created dynamic characters in an entertaining story unless you can share them with the world! So, after I finish my paying job (I’m lucky enough to work part time from home) I get out my laptop and start pounding away a word at a time to finish this romantic comedy. I think I can, I can, I will!!!

So, this is where I am, day one of a resolved odyssey filled with traps and pitfalls that would make a less sure footed woman trip and fall flat on her face but with determination, guts and persistance I think I can, I can…I will!

Pounds Lost: 0
Pounds to go: 95

Pages Written: 93
Pages to go: 300ish

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